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Tag Archive for words matter

Being Still

Written by Heather Olson

TreesAs I’ve been working through recovery, one of the most challenging things I’ve encountered is appreciating and spending time alone. I find it very difficult to be alone because of the temptation to fall back into old habits when struggling with the difficulties of the day and the accompanied strong emotional reactions.  I find this to be challenging as well because I tend to be a naturally social and extroverted person who wants to talk to others constantly, even when I’m in a negative place and am not able to have the most positive interaction.  This can be especially draining when trying to sift through overwhelming temptations and strong emotions.

When I push myself out of my comfort zone to spend necessary time alone, whether it be taking a walk in the park, listening to my favorite worship music or sitting in complete silence and praying, it can sometimes be more helpful with working through what’s weighing on my heart and mind. One Bible verse that has really spoken to me in this area is Psalm 46:10 – “Be still, and know that I am God! I will be honored by every nation.  I will be honored throughout the world.”  Being able to be still by calming my mind and body before God and allowing Him to speak to me is precious and minimizes my focus that would have previously been on any self-destructive thoughts or actions.  It helps me to refocus and have more fruitful and positive interactions with others as well!

 

Eating Disorders Coalition Advocacy Day 2017

On April 5th, 2017 The Emily Program Foundation and scholarship recipients traveled to Washington D.C. for the Eating Disorders Coalition’s National Advocacy Day. Below are the reflections of our award recipients from their first experiences on The Hill.

Award Recipient Jamie Margetta:

This past week I was given the privilege to attend the Eating Disorders Coalition Day on the Hill. I was graciously awarded a scholarship from the Emily Program Foundation to fund my travels to Washington, D.C. to advocate alongside EDC members who are as passionate as I am about eating disorder advocacy. I expected to walk away with a new experience and a sense of accomplishment from advocating, but I ended up walking away with so much more. My experience at EDC’s Advocacy Day was eye opening, exciting, educating, and overall an experience I won’t soon forget. I was given the Jamie, Jillian and Molly opportunity to meet with House and Senate representatives and express my passion to eating disorder research, early intervention, and education. It was very empowering to be able to express not only my passion on this subject, but why others should care. Presenting fact sheets, personal stories, and evidence that eating disorders matter and they need help was very gratifying. I am so thankful the Emily Program Foundation gave me the opportunity to travel to Washington, D.C. and truly express my concerns and needs for the eating disorder community. I met the most amazing group of people and learned so much from the advocates. This is definitely an experience I will not forget, and I am so grateful I was able to advocate on behalf of friends, family, and loved ones who have experienced the challenges of an eating disorder. Your voice matters!

 

Award Recipient Molly Britt:

As a university undergrad, I did not believe that I could make a difference in the political world without any experience. My experience at the 2017 EDC Advocacy Day completely changed my view of that. While working alongside women and men of all ages, I got to meet with congressional staffers and spread the word about the importance of eating disorders and how the political Molly Britt and Emilyworld could help. It was the first Advocacy Day since the passing of the 21st Century Cures Act which was the first time in history that specific language regarding eating disorders was written into policy. Our mission was to prompt the members of congress to put this policy into action. I was overwhelmed by the support that so many of these staffers conveyed toward our cause and felt as though I was really making a difference. To top of the great day, I got to hear Amy Klobuchar – one of Minnesota’s senators and a driving force for eating disorder policy – speak and thank us for all our hard work. This day has motivated me to participate more in policy change surrounding eating disorders and all other mental health causes.

Your Body: The Impeccable Machine

By Claire Prendergast

Many years ago an English teacher of mine was lecturing about the different connotations of words. For instance, although young and juvenile are synonyms, describing a person as young gives a very different impression than calling a person juvenile. Adjectives in particular tend to have very distinct connotations. The word skinny, as opposed to thin, often implies being thinner than thin. Theoretically, it is used to indicate a person weighs too little in a negative way, but with warped standards of beauty it is often perceived of as a goal. Skinny is a word associated with skin deep beauty: a standard based merely on the outside of your body, both physically and metaphorically. This word is so prevalent, but it does not consider the essence of a person. Although it may sound cliché, it really is what is on the inside that makes you so incredible. Step back and truly think about how amazing your body is.

You have a muscle the size of a fist which pulses in a such a way that seven liters of blood are circulated throughout your entire body each day. (To put this in perspective that is almost thirty cups of coffee.) It supplies everywhere, from your toes to the top of your head, with nutrients, oxygen, and hormones.

Then you have cells that through a difference in electromagnetic potential send messages to every nook and crevasse of you. Just from the flow of sodium and potassium ions, your brain is notified that your pinky finger is touching a very hot pan. Think about how quickly that message is not only relayed to the brain, but is then delivered to the pinky which is pulled off the pan. All in a second.

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Your pinky is pulled up off the scalding hot pan by skeletal muscles. Thanks to these, not only can you salvage your would-be burnt finger, you can run, jump, dance, and smile. The filaments that make up these muscles are merely sliding past each other, making the structure tighter. By strategically contracting some muscles and leaving others relaxed, your legs can kick or you can wink your eyes. Muscles allow you to give hugs, climb up a mountain, even type on a computer.

On top of all of this you have all of your sensory organs. Your eyes detect light rays, your nose has receptors that bind odor molecules, and your ears channel sound vibrations, all of which are transformed into electrical impulses that can somehow be understood by your brain. Just think about how incredible that is.

This is only a very basic, overly-simplified description of how a small portion of your body functions and the more you learn, the more jaw-dropping it becomes. Your body is truly magical. It is a complex machine that completes seemingly impossible tasks. You do astounding things every day and it is thanks to your body. Every cell, every joint, every muscle, is working so you can be you. Take advantage of the astonishing machine you are. Love your body more than just skin deep. Love it for the impeccable life it allows you to live. Do not be defined by such narrow descriptions like skinny, you are much too remarkable for that.

Beautiful Just The Way I Am

By Haley Bougie

The summer before my 8th grade year I changed schools. At first I was angry because I would miss my old friends, but it wasn’t long before I ended up liking the neighborhood and the city. I still didn’t have friends around though, so my days were pretty boring. When school started I was so scared and nervous I didn’t know what to do. I was worried about what I’d wear, what I’d look like to others, and even more worried about where I was going to sit for lunch.

On the first day, I walked into the school looking for my first class all the while feeling insecure about my new peers looking at me and even about those being nice to me. At one point, when I noticed that everyone had an ask.fm account for Facebook, a place where you can anonymously leave questions or comments, I wanted one as well. At first it was amusing, but then people began writing extremely offensive remarks on my wall regarding my bodies’ appearance and who I was as a person. Eventually, I deleted the app but I could not forget the comments directed towards me through it.130204111816-high-school-student-hallway-sad-bully-story-top[1]

Despite the fact that I did not know exactly who was writing the comments, I had a feeling they were from girls at my new school and I began to feel really nervous before leaving for school in the morning. From what started as an innocent Facebook App turned into a year-long downward spiral of bullying, depression, an isolating home life, self-harm and an attempt to take my own life.

Little did I know, it was after this moment that I began a life changing journey through mental health treatment. While I was there something remarkable happened. I began making friends in treatment who were compassionate and supportive who helped me to realize I was not alone. I knew that treatment had afforded me with the opportunity to surround myself with positive people who had similar life experiences. It was being there that made me better. Meanwhile, I was afraid to go back to school after the incident because many of my classmates knew what had happened. However, I was surprisingly supported by my peers. I felt that everything was going to be different.

When I was 16, all of the hopes that I had suddenly diminished when a friend and I posted a photo of ourselves in swimming suites on Instagram. The bullying started once again and I fell back into the familiar feeling of worthlessness and isolation from a pain that I did not know how to handle.

While dealing with my own bullying situation with these girls, I suddenly realized, that I was not their only victim. They were saying mean things about other girls as well. This is when it finally clicked for me that maybe it wasn’t my size or shape or appearance that was bothering these girls or any of the people that had bullied me in the past. Perhaps, they were struggling with their own identities and putting me down was something that helped them to feel better about themselves.

With that in mind I started to look at myself in the mirror and look at their words, over and over. It didn’t take me long to realize that I do not look like them and I did not want to look like them. I didn’t fit into any mold of what young women are supposed to look like, nor did I want to. I only wanted to be me. My features are different, my hair is different, my body is curvaceous, and I love it! It took toxic people to convince me that I was fat, worthless and ugly. I struggled for a long while, before I realized it was time to erase the toxicity from my life.

My weight is something that I still struggle with from time to time. My body is not the same as that of the average teenage girl, but I no longer feel the way I once did. I know that my curves are a sign of how satisfied I am with life as well as a sign of beauty, strength and maturity. Ridding my life of toxic thoughts and toxic people has changed everything. I no longer listen to what people have to say about me, because their words have no bearing on the way that I feel about myself.

 

Being a Friend to Someone with an Eating Disorder

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By Cathy Paper

Throughout the years I’ve seen many people move through eating disorders.  People of all ages at various times in their lives. And being a friend to someone with an eating disorder can be both exhausting and rewarding.  

What do you say to someone you care about when the person you see in front of you is clearly struggling?  Do you ask about their recovery?  Do you talk about food or weight and shape ever?  So many activities are around food that it can be challenging to find ways to connect.  Or maybe you’re mad because your friend is so absorbed in their eating disorder that they don’t appear to want to talk about anything anymore related to your lives.   

These are just a few examples of why being a friend to someone in recovery is tricky.

I’ve heard stories of young girls who have told their friend who is in a recovery program that they “Can’t be friends with them right now as it’s too difficult to maintain a relationship.”    This breaks my heart as the isolation that can accompany an eating disorder is great enough.

I’ve personally felt that feeling of being out at meals with someone who pushes their food around all night long and ultimately eats two or maybe three bites.  Do I say something?  Do I let it go?  Do I ask them if they are ok?  

It depends.

All of these instances are where being a friend requires figuring out how to support or ask questions of your friend who is working to manage their eating disorder.  Maybe you choose not to say anything in the moment, but you say something the next day.  Or you offer to go with your friend to a friends and family support group as that might spark good conversation.  Or you can acknowledge that you’re not sure what to say but you want them to be healthy and that you are there for them if they ever want to talk.  You can also encourage them to share with a professional if you feel anxious they may harm themselves.

Here are three tips I try to follow:

1. Be upfront. Ask how the person is doing with their recovery.  This way you can see what they want to talk about without saying anything about weight or food.

2. Spend time with the person or send a text to say “I’m thinking of you. Do you need anything?” Asking for help doesn’t come naturally to many people and friends offer to help even when they don’t know what to do.

3. Encourage your friend that you believe in them and you love and care about them. Just being present is reassuring.

I get tired of thinking about what I can and can’t say to my friends with eating disorders that are active.  I miss my friend that used to laugh and joke with me about silly stuff.  I worry about their long term health, but by being silent and not saying anything I am making it more difficult to feel like I’ve been a good friend.  And, a good friend, speaks up even when it’s uncomfortable.